‘Allo chumps!

Turkey is the new country. Getting across the border was a bit of a bitch as Turkey isn’t a part of the European union, despite their best efforts to get in. To get through, we were required to attain ourselves a Visa and had to present our passports at the border. About the only advantage to this somewhat tiresome crossing was the duty free shops, which are always great fun to have a squiz. We managed to find a 2lt bottle of Ouzo which would have worked out to be about $18 Aussie dollars. Such a deal is dangerous! Unfortunately, Ouzo isn’t one of my preferences. We had some bloody potent versions during our stay in Greece, enough to last me for the next couple months until I make a return trip to Greece.

Catching me off guard, we spent the entire afternoon around Gallipoli. I wasn’t aware of a trip being made to Anzac cove, but I’m very glad we got there. Before arriving, Tara had written a little speech with a general overview of the war. This general overview took a good 20 minutes to get through and proved to be very informative. She gave us so much to soak up. At the same time, I realised how much I don’t know about any of the wars, even the war against Iraq. During the overview, Tara took us through what could be described as a personal account as to what the Anzacs went through on the morning of the 25th April. Surprisingly, I became quite emotional about it all. Sitting on the bus, not talking and only hearing this account with nothing to distract me, I could focus on what she was saying.

Shortly after Tara finished reading her overview, everyone fell silent for quite some time. That quietness continued for the next couple hours. Stepping out of the coach onto the beach was also a big hit. Standing on the pebbles, overlooking the sea where so many men would have spent their last moments was surreal. Looking at it when I was there, all the rocks were grey, all the water was blue and there were lovely flowers (Mainly poppies) scattered everywhere. I could only imagine how different it would have been that morning, everything stained the colour red. Listening to the cove, I could only hear waves crashing and the quiet wind. Again, that morning, I don’t imagine anyone would have been listening to the waves. My experience in Anzac cove is difficult to put into words. I’ve never been through such a feeling before.

Throughout the rest of the day, we visited other sites around the area, including the Lonely Pine memorial site, and a Turkish memorial site to have a look at the war from the other perspective. Above everything, what made the day truly worthwhile and special, was a quote I saw on a plaque -
“Those heroes that shed their blood and lost their lives…You are now lying in the soil of a friendly country. Therefore, rest in peace. There is no difference between the Johnnies and the Mehmets to us where they lie side by side here in this country of ours…You, the mothers, who sent their sons from far away countries, wipe away your tears; your sons are now lying in our bosom and are in peace. After having lost their lives on this land they have become our sons as well.” Ataturk 1934
I’m relatively sure this was the president to Turkey at the same who made this quote.

Our campsite went by the name of Hotel Kum, and was definitely one of the better - if not, the best - sites on the trip. Attached to the site was a cool beach. It was a mix of pebbles and sand, which meant we could run around like dicks, but we could skip stones. We’ve skipped stones in Italian, Greek, French, Australian and Turkish water. I managed to sniff out a little bar at the campsite, scored myself a beer and went to watch the sunset on the beach. The entire tour ended up on the beach, and we all enjoyed the sunset together, it was a rather beautiful moment. Because we were only spending one night and were waking up early in the morning, a lot of us decided to sleep under the stars. It was a great experience, and I had to stop and think to myself “I’m sleeping under the Turkish stars”.

The story of Troy always interested me, but not enough to actively seek out the finer details. Luckily, our bus happened to go through it, and so we all got out, and met the coolest guide we’ve had on the trip, and with a name like Mustafa, how could he not be cool? When we approach a large wooden horse that has been varnished, sanded, and has perfect symmetry with comfortable seats inside and some girl asks the guide “Is this the real horse that they used?”…I get scared. After listening to Mustafa for about 10 minutes, I realised that I have another thing on my ‘to do’ list. He explained how incorrect the story line was in the film, and that has sparked me to do some research on my own. I’m going to leave it until after the tour, seeing as we’re in a new country every couple days. I can’t leave myself stuck in Turkey. I’ve never considered myself interested in architecture, but because Mustafa was so excited about the city walls, I became excited, and although I had no idea what he was talking about concerning the walls, I loved it.

By the end of the day we were in Istanbul. Tara had been talking about Turkish baths since the day we all met, and we were finally here. After a quick dinner at the hotel, Tara, Jodie (Our mobile cook), Andy and myself made a quick getaway from the group, and before anyone could realise we were gone, I was being covered in soap from a big, fat, moustached, terrifying Turkish man, wearing very little. We’d been informed that you could go through the entire session naked, but unfortunately this has been changed, and so we spent the session in a very little towel. Basically, you walk in and you’re given tokens for the activities you’ve paid for. Feeling like shit after spending most of the day walking around in the blistering Turkish sun, and then sitting in a cramped position on the bus all day, I decided to lash out and go for everything. This included unlimited use of the marble room, a 15 minute soap massage (Which includes every bone in the body being cracked), a 30 minute oil massage and unlimited use of the showers.

First off, we had a chill, or rather a bake, in the marble room. Featuring a massive heated chunk of marble in the middle of the room that everyone lays on, the humidity soared, and felt a lot like a sauna. I saw a lot of man flesh and thick black hair in that room. Lying there, I was sweating like a champion, and at one stage I wiped my forehead, only to discover that half of this ‘sweat’ was a thick oil that was being drawn out from my body. I imagine it must be insanely good for you to get rid of this oil. I felt healthier I guess.

Soon after, some terrifying bastard who looked like a war veteran who’d killed many people, who almost happened to be my soap masseuse pushed me on to my back, crossed my arms over my body, and jumped on me. I felt every bubble of nitrogen in every vertebrae pop. After throwing water in my face a couple times, my old fat man covered me in soap and almost kneaded me into a pulp. Throughout the course of the soap massage, he never took his eyes away from mine, so I’d close my eyes. Every time I opened them, he was still staring right into me. After almost breaking my spine, neck and hands, I almost genuinely believed this man was trying to kill me. Instead of talking, he grunted, and if you didn’t understand quick enough that “Mergh” means rolls over, he would pick you up and slap you back down on the marble in the desired position. All that being said, it was one of the best experiences in my life, and it was so much fun.

My oil massage was nothing more than what I expected, but was still amazing. This was a different masseuse and he was bloody rough. After washing off some of the excess oil and fatty substance, I returned to the marble room and sweated it out for another 30 minutes or so. After dehydration set in and the ceiling started looking like a plate of wobbly jelly, Andy and I got out of there. Seeing a pile of dry towels, we picked one up and walked out of the marble area only to have another big fat moustached man yell “NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!”. This man took us back to the pile of towels, and apparently we picked up the wrong one. He ripped our towels off us, so we proceeded to stand there starkers, and he dressed us up in the proper traditional way with the towels. Combined with the rest of the session, I did feel violated, but in a respectable and hilarious way.

A block away from our hotel was the “Sheesha Bar” where we found our entire tour. I hate the word Sheesha, because I have no bloody idea how to spell it. When walking into the bar, the first thing I saw was Benjamin with a dirty big hose sticking out his mouth attached to the Sheesha and surrounded in strawberry smoke. I wish I’d have had my camera, it looked awesome. Everyone sat us down and they were so mellow. This Hookah stuff seemed to be chilling everyone right out. Already feeling relaxed from the bath, this bar is exactly what I needed. Our floor was a mattress with a slab of wood put on top, and everyone was sitting on pillows rather than chairs. Someone scored me a mouth piece, and before I knew it, strawberry smoke was billowing in a cloud around my head. I loved that thing. I think if I ever move out, I’ll buy one and stick in on the kitchen table. They look cool, and are an incredibly social device. By re-filling the Sheesha constantly, the chaps running the bar made a lot of money from alcohol out of our group that night. Again, I wish I’d had my camera, because I believe this will be a memory not easily forgotten.
Starting the next day early, we had a tour that lasted a couple hours. It was a pretty crappy Apart from the Blue Mosque, our guide was just trying to sell us shit all day. Our first stop was at a hotel that had just opened, and rather than talking about the insanely cool street we were on, or something about the city, he told us all about this hotel and how Contiki groups get 20% off drinks when they go there. Further on, he took us to the Turkish bath we’d visited the night before, and spent the entire time telling us about the pricing system and how good the sessions are. More further on, we found ourselves at a carpet shop. The man in the carpet shop pulled out all these carpets and told us about how long they take and how genuine they are and then asked us to have a look around and buy something. One of the cheaper one’s I saw which was about the size of a door mat and costed more than our entire tour. I wonder why they would take a Contiki tour, especially a camping Contiki tour to this place. Most people can’t even afford lunch let alone one of these bastards.

Another highlight for the day was the Turkish Shave. This was another activity that received a lot of hype. Despite being different and exciting and awesome, it was just a shave in the end. I’d have to say the most exciting part was the after shave, I’ve never had a proper after shave applied to my skin, and it actually burns! Some of the chaps, the one’s with particularly hairy ears, had ear burning. This involved the shaver dude holding a lighter up to someone’s ear and singeing the hairs covering the ears. I did get some massive black thing shoved up my nose. It vibrated and felt cool. Ben looks about 12 again.

A lot of the rest of the day involved getting lost in the Grand Bazaar, and haggling for a better price on something without actually buying anything. I find the idea of haggling great fun, and I played with a few techniques. Later, we all went out for dinner and had a five course meal with entertainment all night. This included belly dancing, knife throwing, singing, and just cool music in general. It was a fantastic night out, but the lighting didn’t allow photos. Turkey has a capsicum that resembles the jalapeno and throughout the evening there were various salads and every time I saw this mini capsicum, I asked Dave the Coach Driver if it was a chilli, and he would laugh at me and say it’s ok. By the end of the night, I’d given up asking, and the main dish consisted of mashed potato with a lovely braised diced steak. On the side were tomatoes and what I thought were these capsicums. With that, I halved one of them and chewed the bastard up and swallowed. Turns out it was a chilli. As any beer drinker will know, beer does nothing to soothe the harsh burn of half a chilli. After the beer, I stuffed a huge dollop of potato in my mouth in the hope that maybe it would soak up some of the heat, but the potato must have just come out of the pot, because it was boiling, which made it a lot worse. Dave saw what was happening from the start apparently. He watched me cut the chilli in half and shove it in my fatty McFat-tard of a gob, but decided on saying nothing. All he could do was laugh while my face was red and eyes watered. When the dinner and show finished, we managed to get up to the roof of our hotel where they store a heap of cushions, and so spent a large majority of our night up there.

Aaaaaanyway, my hands are sore, so I’ll leave you all with that.

BYE!

P.S My bus buddy Terri decided to write a funny, so I’ve decided to leave it:

So have managed to have the best bus buddy in the whole world. Although, she ditched me this morning and I wanted to crawl into a foetal position and cry.

Hellooooo!

The next stop saw us arrive in Athens, capital of Greece. About an hour out of Athens we stopped at a place for dinner. On occasions we have to buy our own dinner, and this was one of those. The only food we could find at this bus stop was a place called Goody’s. Now despite what the name may suggest, do not be misinformed. It was a strange set-up for a fast food joint. On the outside, and even the inside, everything looked like McDonalds, and that was precisely what I was expecting. When hit with the menu, we were slapped in the face with the palm of confusion. From the club sandwich, chicken burger and onion rings, to the more surprising mixed grill, salad bar and beer tap, no-one was sure whether this really was a fast food joint or a restaurant. Regardless of how much range they had, everything was shit, except the coke and beer. My mixed grill included three pieces of ‘meat’. I know one of these was supposed to be chicken, but the other two are still a mystery to me. Andy had a club sandwich that appeared to taste of nothing at all, but still managed to retain the texture of a sandwich. I hear that’s all it had going for it. Ben discovered that our chips were hollow, so all we were really eating were pieces of batter. In the end, the moral of the story is don’t go anywhere near Goody’s, because they’re actually Baddy’s.

Our campsite had a pretty strict rule against noise, so the entire time spent in the campsite was almost a fun-ban. It did have free WIFI though, and due to the no noise rule, I gave me a good chance to sit down and write some e-mails. It’s not often the opportunity comes around.

Early in the morning we set off to see the city of Athens, starting off with a guided tour of the Acropolis. Benjamin and myself are bloody hopeless tourists. I thought it was a city and Ben only knew that the word that existed. For me, the only interesting part was listening to the mythology behind it all. It was fascinating, and I’m tempted to delve further into the topic. I do wish I’d been interested in it all before I came to Greece. The structures themselves proved to be awesome to look at too. I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned it already, but about 90% of the buildings and structures we’ve seen are half covered in scaffolding. It seems that Europe as a whole decided to start maintenance and re-construction of their historic and cool buildings at the same time. The Acropolis was no different I’m afraid. Looking out over the mountain the Acropolis is situated on gives a full panoramic view of Athens. At this point you realise how much the Greeks love their architecture. Every house looks the bloody same, with the same coloured bloody roof and the same bloody courtyard.

Our tour guide then got on our coach and with Dave, our Czech coach driver, took us through Athens on a broader tour of the city. It was interesting to see the damage caused by the riots. Every bank and ATM had been attacked somehow, either with paint, rocks or fire. Half of the ATMs around the city had been smashed into and were out of order. Judging by the tone of our guides voice, I think it’s safe to say that the general public of Athens were not happy with the whole situation. She seemed to be very upset about the bank that was alit, killing (I don’t know numbers) many people. Thankfully the riots were well and truly over when we were there.

After a big morning of walking and sight-seeing, the tour split up into mini groups (Everyday we get to join a different group) and we decided that we needed some giros. Our last experience with giros left me needing more, it’s bloody good stuff, and is the kind of food that would make a drunk chap very happy at the end of a night. After roaming through the many streets and visiting the flea market, we checked out the Parliament House. In front of the house are two guards that stand perfectly still for an hour. Every hour on the hour, the guards are changed. When I say these fellows stand still, they stand still. We managed to see the change over as we arrived at exactly 3:00, and it looks ridiculous. Whoever decided on the way they march must have been a prankster.

In an electrical store similar to JB hi-fi, there was a massive computer section. I needed something to backup all my stuff on, and so I decided on a portable hard-drive. I figure 320GB should keep me out of trouble. What made me happy was that all the demo computers around the store had internet. This makes it possible to walk into the store, use their free internet for an hour and walk out again, no questions asked, and bloody oath that’s what a large majority of us done. Everyone checked their facebook, e-mails and bank accounts and bought nothing.

Ben, myself and Andy all decided to buy hard drives so we could get everyone’s photos after the trip. We located the cheapest 320GB hard drives we could find, and found that 59.95 was the cheapest we could get away with. After much contemplation over which colour we were to get, Ben and I settled on black, and because Andy wanted to be different, he went with white. Before walking to the desk to pay for it, Amanda (A music/anime/wine loving girl on the tour) noticed that Andy had picked up a 500GB hard drive by accident. After checking the price tag and seeing it was still 59.95, we had to go and check the rest. For some reason, the black, pink and purple 500GB hard drives were 89.95 Euro, but the white one’s were the same price as the 320GB’s. We knew it was a mistake, but we tried our luck anyway. Andy and Ben paid and got through fine with their big bastards, but I managed to get in a line with some old bird who looked like she hated me since she first saw me. She picked up on the problem, so I had to walk out with my measly 320GB white hard drive which I paid the same price as the other two. Bastards.

All in all, Athens was a great place to just walk around and look at stuff. Most Greek people are more than happy to help, and although most of them (especially the older crowd) can’t understand us, everyone knows what each other is trying to say. A good example is a restaurant. The owner understands that you’re loving their food, and you understand that they want you to enjoy yourself - and then pay.

This morning we picked up 14 new people, mostly Canadians and Australians, with the odd Kiwi dispersed. Again, they all seem like friendly people, and I don’t think it will take them long to gel with the group. It’s going to suck learning new names again though. Leaving two of our campers behind this morning was pretty tough though. Because they were only on the 22 day camper, we leave them in Athens, and the new people are on a 24 day camper, who will now stay with us for the rest of the journey.

About three hours after leaving the campsite, we arrived at our first pit stop where we usually have a feed, a stretch and use the W.C (Water Closet, or a toilet as it’s known at home). At this point a rather large realisation dawned on me. Yesterday I had a plastic bag full of all my important stuff, like phone, wallet and my new hard drive. It was also half full of rubbish, so this morning I pulled out all the important stuff and shoved some more rubbish in there and threw it in the bin. After going through an extensive search through my day pack, and backpack with no sign of wallet, I’m beginning to think that my wallet was not sufficiently taken out of that plastic bag and may therefore be well on the way to the dump. We’ve rang the campsite and asked them to stick their heads into the bins to have a look. A phone call came, and a wallet was found, unfortunately for me, it wasn’t mine. I’ve ruled out every possibility bar two. Either my wallet is in that bin, which I’m almost 95% sure of or it’s in my tent somewhere. I’m hoping for the latter.

With that, I’ll leave you all.

Bye!

----------------------------

Luckily for me, 5% is still a possibility. As soon as we arrived at the campsite yesterday, I ran straight to the luggage compartment and threw out my tent. After ripping into it and feeling a little square lump, I thought it almost too good to be true, but it was there. It was a beautiful moment, and I’ve never felt such a wave of relief in my life. Apart from that, there wasn’t really anything else to report on from Kavala. The place was a hole and was only used as a stop-over. To me, it didn’t exactly seem like a touristy sort of place. Every child watched with intensity as we walked past in search of cheap nasty wine and no-one spoke a word of English. At the only ATM in the city, we managed to have a 10 minute conversation with three old Greek chaps, with no words actually understood throughout the entirety.

Mornin’ boooyyyzz.

In this fine edition, I’ve been taken to the incredible Greek Island, Corfu. After Barcelona, this is the spot on everyone’s mind. Covered in beaches and as warm as Oz, those lucky enough to be joining me on this tour we pretty excited. As a traveller, if you don’t spend every day sight-seeing and making the most of the day, you feel incredibly guilty, and the day is usually destroyed. People come to Corfu for the opposite reasons. For a place to chill, and do nothing without a care, Corfu delivers. Because there are no touristy attractions here, it’s possible to just sit on the beach all day, or simply go for a scenic drive without a care or the feeling of guilt. We all knew we were in for a good couple days, but it turned out to be much more.

At the beginning of the tour, we had three different tours on the bus, and after Nice, we lost one of these tours to another group. It sucks that everyone had just become comfortable with each other and everyone was friends. Waiting for us on arrival to Corfu was that group. Despite our short time together, and short time apart, it was an emotional and awesome reunion. It was good to hear some stories like one chap who decided to scrum a fire extinguisher, setting it off and come off 400 Euro less, or another chap who pissed himself, and then proceeded to sit on a couch.

An optional activity that was offered to us was “George’s Boat”. Anything that includes sitting in the sun, lunch and a tour group full of friends - in bikinis - is a winner over me. For 35 Euro, I was expecting something sensational. What was delivered was far more than I bargained for. The information given to us was that we were going to be cruising over to some section of the Island famous for the water sports, and that George is loveable and creepy. Tara described George as the creepy uncle, and I couldn’t have put it better. If we weren’t warned, George may have been somewhat scary, but since we knew before hand, the man came across as geniously hilarious. As soon as we got into Corfu, we set up camp and walked to the beach to be picked up by George.

The first thing that many of us noticed was the boat’s logo. On the cabin door of the boat was a big sticker of two people in the ‘69’ position. Shortly after, the deck hand walked past wearing the boat’s singlet. The back of the singlet features George’s boat, and about 10 people involved in a huge orgy. Apparently in the day, this is what George’s boat used to be like. Moments after we left the beach, I felt a wave of relaxation come over me. Burning up in the sky was a scorching sun, and it felt so good. Unlike Australia, Greece has a thicker ozone layer (or so I’ve been told), so even after spending 5 hours in the sun, on the water, I still came away with nothing more than a better tan.



There were heaps of options to choose from at the water sport place, but all were insanely expensive. It’s not every day one has the opportunity to go para-sailing, but it’s not every day it’s going to cost 60 Australian bad-boys either. Two Canadian lads from the tour decided to have a tandem para-sail, and I was fortunate enough to sit in the boat and take some snappies. One of the activities was the banana boat, where the banana is dragged along by the boat. It could fit 10 people, and we managed to fill it all with people from the tour. It was incredible fun, and painful when you fell off. Another activity I signed up for was the inflatable tube thing. Ben and two others from the tour also went for the inflatable’s, and so all four of us went at the same time. It was awesome fun smashing into each other and observing everyone’s reactions. Some of the noises that came out proved to be enjoyable also.



For lunch, George kept it simple by making ham and salad rolls with hot chips, olives and his own (almost 100% garlic) Tzatziki. It was gorgeous! We then discovered we could buy alcohol on the boat, and the beer was quite cheap, so to further relax ourselves, we got on the piss. After another 45 minutes of cruising around the island, George stopped at a lovely little pebbly beach, and before we could ask where we were, our mobile cook for the tour had taken off her top and leapt into the water. Then, before I could comprehend what had just happened, all the girls on the tour were running around topless, jumping into the water. All the chaps looked at each other and knew what needed to be done. Ben lead the way by cupping his manhood, and plunging himself starkers into very clear and cold water. I saw this activity as a great bonding session for the group as everyone felt comfortable enough to jump in to this water minus their clothes. After more beer, Zorba dancing and national anthems, the boat stopped for one last swim, and then we were taken back to our beach.

Later in the night, Tara took us all to a little chilled out cocktail bar that overlooked the beach. Having never consumed a real cocktail, it was a rather exciting experience. Benjamin had a Pina Colada, and I had to hook into the Jamaican Banana. For only 70 Euro, one could also purchase a Vodka and watermelon, which is basically watermelon juice, with vodka, served in a watermelon. One old chap did purchase one of these, and with the willing help of the group, managed to consume it all.

We were fortunate enough to spend a further two days in Corfu, and so eight of us decided to rent some cars. I couldn’t have thought of a better way to see Corfu. By having our own transport, we could visit whatever beach we wanted, and we were free of any time limits. It sounds frightfully boring, but I believe our day spent lying on the beach, doing nothing at all, was exactly what we needed.



Everyone had put their name down for the Greek Dinner and Dancing night, which was another optional activity organised for us. For some reason though, it was cancelled, which I find to be most unfortunate as I was looking forward to the traditional plate smashing. Instead though, we all put in 20 Euro and, being in Greece, had a Toga party. Many of the chaps decided on the traditional style of nothing underneath, which Big Ben and myself decided to join in on. It was a free feeling. Who-ever made the punch done a really good job, because it had no flavour of alcohol to it, and therefore I was chugging it down like water. Tara organised some drinking Olympics which included smashing down beer, punch, wine and the dreaded Ouzo. I’m still embarrassed by my egg and spoon race attempt. In my group, I was the first to go, and before the race had even started, I’d already broken two eggs. That punch turned me into a walking wreck, and I remember a good 50% of the night. I haven’t heard of anything I may have done with possible regrets, so I think I’m safe.



Greek drivers are crazy. On our last day in Corfu, we all decided to drive our hire cars through the city, to get to a really nice beach that was recommended to us. Our car was following, and the one in front being driven by Andy - Some champion from Melbourne - decided to turn down a little alleyway. This alleyway turned into a brick road. This brick road turned into a pedestrian road. This pedestrian road seemed to have no exit. For about 30 minutes, two little white rental cars were narrowly dodging dogs, old men and waiters from restaurants. We somehow made it out of this Greek maze and were on the way again.

So far in Europe Benjamin and myself had only seen one sandy beach, and even that one was pretty shit. They love their pebbles here, but the pebbles suck. To walk into the water, one must endure all kinds of pain and ridicule. This beach was different though. With the sun out and blazing, super fine sand and not too much wind, this one reminded me a lot of the beaches back home. Still in the Greek frame of mind, all the girls decided to rip off their tops and give their beauties a bit more of the Greek sun. Our group proceeded to sun-bake for the day and before long, I found myself running into the water starkers with a chorus of laughter and applause from an appreciative audience. My little stunt was very invigorating and I felt alive and refreshed. I encourage everyone to have a little streak somewhere, the human body is a beautiful thing. I recall a few other girls having a dip that was skinny throughout the day also.

One of the girls, Katie (Who happened to be the one to start all the nakedness off), was dared to walk into a supermarket with her boob out, pretending she didn’t know it was like that. She pulled it off marvellously. So marvellously in fact, that the old Greek guy who served her came running out to tell her that she should re-arrange her clothing. I thought this act was highly commendable and we all found it hilarious.

This morning we’ve left Corfu and we’re currently on another ferry. On arrival we get on a bus, eat the best gyros in the world and then drive to Athens. I do hope all the riots are over. It will be interesting to see how the city has been affected.

Bye!

* Sorry, crappy WIFI again, so no pictures *

Hello again!

Moving on with the Contiki tour we find ourselves on the bus to Naples. It’s becoming quite difficult to write new blogs given every day we wake up in a new city. I find myself waking up in the morning trying to remember what country I’m in. It’s rather exciting, but I usually don’t know until I have a look outside the tent. To keep track of the many things we’ve seen is also quite difficult, as every city we visit is so vastly different from the last. If we continue the way we are travelling at the moment, I expect a rather exhausting finale to the trip, and that just happens to be in Amsterdam.

I can’t quite remember what note I left you all on, but I’ll just pretend it was Venice. On the way to Venice, we had a short stop-over in a small city called Verona. This is where the Romeo and Juliet story came from. We scored a snap of the famous balcony where Romeo was calling out to the lovely Juliet. Also here is a statue of Juliet, in which we were informed emits good luck to those who caress her boob. Great fun! In the same alleyway is a huge wall with little pieces of paper all over it. The idea is to write a love message and stick it on the wall to promote love, and I suppose peace. I love seeing stuff like that, it always puts a smile on peoples face. We didn’t have any paper or pens, so we couldn’t spread any love.

To me, Venice would have to be one of the most popular cities in the world, most commonly known as the ‘floating city‘. It was definitely one of the places I was most keen to visit. With streets of water, and everyone owning a boat as opposed to a car, our day of Venice was a rather interesting and fascinating one. Contrary to what I first believed, Venice is actually a collection of 117 islands scattered all over the joint. Home to all the churches, St Marks Square and Gondolas’ is one main island - to me, name unknown. Our camping site was not on this island unfortunately. To get there, we had to catch a 30 minute ferry, where we saw a few smaller islands, that I hope were not actually used any more based on the state and age of the buildings that inhabited them.

St Marks Square on the main island was pretty exciting. On arrival our tour manager, Tara, notified us of a few cool and unusual rules that are special and unique to certain parts of Italy. One law that is unique to St Marks specifically is the non-kicking pigeons rule. It’s ironic that they’ve made an actual law preventing a person from kicking a pigeon, but at the same time, the council has started putting contraception into the food of the pigeons to slow the population. I like to think the police were arresting too many people because it was impossible to walk through the square without booting one of these flying rats. These little bastards were everywhere.

Benny boy and myself decided to hang with a few champions from the group for the day, and just spent the day walking around the many skinny lanes, checking out the many leaning buildings that looked as though they were about to fall into each other. A fact I didn’t know about the city was that it was built the way it looks. Someone decided it would be a cool idea to build the city with streets mainly made of water, I always had the assumption that it was a regular city that had just sunk over the years. Whilst there, I’m not sure if we saw it at it’s peak tide, but I would hope so, given how close the buildings were to the water. We were told that when they have a king tide, the whole of the shopping square, along with all the shops, gets flooded and everyone walks through the square with water up to their hips. I imagine it must be a pain in the dick for the shop owners who have their shop flooded. I noticed that a lot of the shops in the area had carpet floors…Could you imagine the smell after a king tide? And the corrosion!

One of my highlights was definitely the Gondola ride. A few of us got together and hired a Gondola for about 45 minutes. I always thought the massive stick on a Gondola worked by pushing against the sand at the bottom of the water. I was quite wrong. It turns out the massive stick is just a paddle, and there is a very fine art to working this paddle. I was most impressed when we started turning, by using only the shifting weight of our paddler and the singular paddle itself. We scored ourselves two bottles of wine and had a wee tour through the many ‘streets’ of the city. To sit there, and actually realise that we were in Italy, in Venice, in a Gondola and drinking bubbles was quite a surreal moment. It all came crashing down what we’ve been doing for the past couple months. I feel as if we’re living life at the moment.

Moving on from Venice, we found ourselves on the way to Florence. On the way though, we managed to squeeze in a visit to Pisa, to visit ol’’ mate leaning tower. It really does lean, and on quite a substantial level at that. There were a shit load of tourists, all lined up taking their ’funny’ little snaps of them holding up the tower, or pushing it over. We did see some rather original ideas, but almost every person had the same picture taken. It’s a funny thing with the Asians, they’ll take 800 pictures in a day, of what I don’t know. I’d hate to have to sort through their photo’s. For the Asians who aren’t snapping every brick they see, there are the one’s who have just got themselves a video camera. These funny little chaps hold their camcorder in front of them and have it constantly running all day. I’ve found myself walking past many recordings and often wonder how many videos I’m in around the world. Another thing I love about Asian tourists are the pictures they take with people in them. Especially in the older crowds, there is a vast lack of emotion. As opposed to cracking a smile, a lame pose or at the very least, a thumbs up, these people simply stand there, with either a straight face or sometimes even a frown. One must ask whether these people are actually enjoying their holiday, or if they just wanted to do it for some pictures and to say they’ve been there.

Arriving in Florence, our first night entailed some hardcore Karaoke. The cheapest thing on the list were 2L cocktail jugs that were rather potent, and hit that spot well and truly. After a 2 Euro bottle of wine and few swigs of this golden serum, I was well on my way to becoming a microphone hog. I sang a couple tunes, whether a knew the songs or not. At one point in the night, all the chaps on our tour had managed to lose their shirts and were running around wreaking havoc among a fellow Contiki tour that happened to be in the same bar. One of our lads somehow managed to lose his pants as well. Being May Day eve, every man and his dog were hitting the streets for the massive street parties that were going on. The night before May Day, everything is open until 6am in the morning, including most cafes, markets and even clothing stores. There were few large groups going around with massive drums, tambourines and whistles making excellent beats for the proles to dance and rock out to. There were so many happy people walking around, it only made sense to get into the spirit.

Before I go on, I’ll just mention that right now we’re driving on what could only be described as the Italian Great Ocean Road. We’ve been on the coast line for quite some time now, and at the same time we’re going through the mountains. It’s majestic.

May 1st is a bigger holiday in Italy than Oz I believe. Heaps of cafes and take-away shops were still open, but most of the museums were closed. Luckily, we had a city tour organised for us which took up a good chunk of the day, and rather than just sight-see and look at art like every other day, we were able to just have a chill session in a cafe and sit in various parks. Florence is also the home of many famous statues and was home to such historic figures as Michelangelo, Galileo and Da Vinci. We managed to see two replica’s of David, but unfortunately, the real David is in one of the galleries that are closed on public holidays.

One of our optional extra’s in Florence was a four course Italian meal in some overly-fancy restaurant. For the entrée, we were served up some bread with some soupy stuff on it, followed by traditional Italian pasta for our ‘second’ entrée. Some of us from the tour were faced with a shock when confronted with the pasta served. Unlike what most are used to - Pasta with a heap of sauce and meat, the Italians believe that their pasta is so good that there is only the smallest amount of sauce, perhaps just to give it a colour other than yellow. To be completely honest, they’re correct, that pasta was bloody amazing, even if it was mainly oil rather than sauce and meat.

Since the first day of the tour, all we’ve heard about has been “Electronic Space Disco”. This is just a club that every Contiki tour visits and has somehow strung up a good deal with Contiki. A lot of hype went into this club, and I’d like to believe that the hype wasn’t a waste of time, we had a damn good time. There were two floors to the club, the lower being host to the bar and the karaoke, and the upper being the dancers domain. Our main man, Gi-Gi, was our bar-tender for the night. The rule is that if you are good to Gi-Gi, he’ll be bloody good to you. The man could make a mean cocktail, in particular, his Gi-Gi special. To this day, I have no idea what was in them, but they went down great and turned me into a walking wreck. At one point in the night, Benjamin was looking very angry about something, and so I decided to ask what was up. He gave me a sip of his ‘whatever it was’ and it tasted like a standard cocktail, rather than a Gi-Gi cocktail. With this he complained to our tour manager who went and consulted Gi-Gi. Ben’s next cocktail tasted like methylated spirits with petrol as a mixer. Needless to say, our Big Boy couldn’t walk without two people either side of him, and had thrown up so many times, I thought he was going to start throwing up his bowels. We threw him in the tent, without mattress, stomach down, and threw a sleeping bag on top. 5 hours later, I awoke to find him in the exact same position. He managed to wake up still off his face, and this continues for another 3-4 hours through the day before he slept it off on the bus.

And so we reached Rome. A heap of us put in for a guided tour of the ruins and the Colosseum. I re-call the guide telling us what the Colosseum was actually called, but I can’t remember. The name Colosseum was only a nick-name that eventually became the name everyone knew. It was given this name due to it’s colossal size. I’m pretty sure it was the something Amphitheatre.

Every now and then, our bus driver, by law, must have a day off from driving and Rome was that day. Each of our campsites are usually quite a distance to the city itself, and will take 30+ minutes to get in each day. On the drivers day off, Tara buys us an all day metro pass which gives us unlimited access to the underground, trains and buses. Everyone went in together, but Ben and I had to smash up some washing and Ben needed to check if he had any money on his internet banking, so we went in a bit later. On arrival we decided to walk the back streets of the city, which we were told is where all the locals hang to get away from the hideous tourist prices. Through these streets were a heap of awesome graffiti works and all the lanes were big enough for a moped at the most. After having a caffee latte at a little coffee shop where no-one spoke English, we smashed up Vatican City. Of the whole of Rome, we asked for two things. To see the Colosseum and the Sistine Chapel were our two big things. If Ben and I made it to these, our Rome experience would be complete. Didn’t happen unfortunately. We arrived at the chapel just as they were closing the doors. A reason to go back.

I started writing this blog on the way to Naples, but have had to put it off, and so I shall continue. Unfortunately we didn’t get to spend a night in Naples, but we were able to drive through it, and had to wait around for a ferry for quite a couple hours. Naples is the dirtiest city in Europe, but also happens to be the third biggest city in Italy. The place is a dump. We were told that if we ever come back, we were to never ever stay out after midnight. Naples is gangster country, all the mafia stories come from here, and to this day still continues.

Our ferry departed from here to the island of Capri. Never have I experienced such a place. I didn’t read about this little trip, or even hear of it until I was given the ferry ticket. Despite the crappy weather, this little island was still gorgeous. I could have found myself walking around it for a week. It’s a bit bigger than Magnetic Island, but has huge mountains all over it, which make to be good look-out spots and great walks. When you see pictures and programs on TV of crystal clear blue water and think to yourself “That’s probably just Photoshop or video effects” - you were wrong! These beaches do exist. The water was quite similar to that of Hyam’s Beach in NSW, but clearer, if possible. Unfortunately, the beach was made up of rocks. These little bastards hurt to walk on, and make everyone look retarded when entering and departing the water. Maybe the water was freezing, but that kind of beauty couldn’t be left untouched, so Benny Boy and I jumped in. Every other tourist on the beach thought we were idiots for even touching that temperature of water, but it was so worth it. Whilst on Capri, Tara hosted a Gelati eating competition for us. To enter, we had to walk into the nearest Gelataria and purchase two scoops of their lemon Gelati. Why lemon you ask? Because it’s the hardest to get down, and for me, the hardest to keep down. I didn’t think I had a chance, but about halfway through my tub, I noticed everyone hadn’t even touched the rim, so I smashed it down a bit faster. That lemon did not enjoy being in my stomach, so I had to push it down with more. That chunk then teamed up with the chunk that was already trying to come up, and formed a super-spew which I pushed further down with more. I cleaned up that tub and thrust it upon Tara’s face, only to realise the girl down the other end had done the same at about the same time. My tub was cleaner and quite clearly I should have won, but some bastard decided that she started with more…I’ve never been so upset in my life.

After Capri, the tour spent a night in Sorrento before the long drive to the ferry terminal - city unknown. A few of us had a smashing dinner at a little Italian pub. It was a lovely candle-lit dinner and with more traditional pizza and pasta, provided a grand finale to our trip through Italy.

This morning we hit up the all-famous Pompeii, in which I was particularly excited for. Ever since first watching Pink Floyd’s concert to no audience in the amphitheatre of Pompeii, I’ve wanted to see it. To make sure we saw it, both Benjamin and myself paid top dollar for an optional guided tour Contiki provided. I won’t go too much in to detail, but to put it simply…We didn’t see it. Some moron decided that the amphitheatre wasn’t worth including, or even mentioning in the tour. About two hours later, we met some people who did find it, and had a great time there, despite knowing nothing about the Pink Floyd concert. Neeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!

In two hours, we’ll be boarding the ferry on our way to Corfu. Since leaving Barcelona, Corfu has been the topic of discussion. Beaches, heat, Greek girls and hire cars - Wooooooooooooooooo!!

Later dudes!